Waiting For the Rainbow
by silversprinklez10
Summary: "I just wish I can be with the one person I love. But that will never happen. You can't just change your mind about being straight. Preston will never romantically love a man or anyone else in his life. His rainbow is faded, but at least his rainbow exists." Poofless oneshot thingy. Rob/Preston Woofless/TBNRFrags I really should avoid the word thingy, but whatever.


I know Preston will never love me. So I don't know why I even hope anymore. What's the point if I know it will never happen?

Preston isn't interested in guys, and he never was or ever will be. He's for sure a hundred percent straight. He's only dated one girl in his entire life named Sara, which was his downfall. From the beginning, I never liked or even trusted Sara. In the beginning though, the hatred was only because she was dating the person I loved and still love deeply. But as each day painfully passed, I found other reasons to hate on Sara besides envy. I still remember the day I discovered that most of what she told Preston was meant to deceive him. The day I saw Sara's true intentions.

I overheard a phone conversation between Sara and one of her friends from high school. The phone was on speaker phone because Sara heard phone calls more clearly that way, so I heard the conversation from both sides. The majority of the time, the two trash talked Preston, and I recorded the entire thing. At the time, I didn't know what for, but I felt like I needed evidence that I wasn't crazy ftor not liking Sara. But of course, that recording couldn't do anything.

I was furious, but there was nothing I could do because Preston wouldn't believe one bad story about Sara, especially not the truth. And if I shared the recording, Preston would think I edited it or something like that. He thought Sara was an angel. But really, she was a devil in disguise or worse, waiting for the ripe moment to destroy Preston's happiness for all eternity. And I could only watch in pain as Sara lured Preston deeper into her trap. Sara only ever wanted the fame and money. She never truly cared about Preston at all or how he felt. And when the time was ripe, she would shatter Preston's heart into a million pieces.

I always hated it when Preston, Sara, and I used to be in the same room. Sara would tell Preston she loved him deeply and Preston, hopelessly buried in love, would say those words back and actually mean them, unlike Sara. Every time that happened, my heart would ache for what I will never have, and for what a liar stole from me. Preston never saw the unmistakable signs. Every kiss, Sara's eyes would stay open, never passionate, but deceitful. Her smile never reached her eyes when saying she was happy being with Preston. Preston cherished Sara, but Sara never felt the same.

The uneasiness was worse when Sara and I were alone. She'd act innocent and sweet, while at the same time bragging about how lucky she was to get Preston as a boyfriend. When it was just the two of us, Sara found no need to hide the mischievous glint in her eye. I guess she thought I was that stupid, but I was only scared. I lied in saying that I was cool with the couple because I didn't want Sara to use my disapproval to ruin my friendship with Preston. If you're wondering where I got the idea from, Sara's phone conversation might be a thing you want to consider.

But still, despite all of that, I should have done something like try to talk to a third party and ask for advice using generic terms. It wouldn't hurt if no one suspected who I was talking about. But I didn't do that, and I didn't do anything because I was scared. Before I could work up the courage to do something, everything fell apart. When Sara finally chose to cut the relationship off, Preston's heart broke into tiny pieces too small to glue back together, and it was all my fault.

To make matters worse than they already were, Preston's family supported Sara. They said the break up was all Preston's fault, even though it wasn't. Sara faked the convincing tears and not only shattered Preston's heart but turned his family against him. His family called him a failure. But what was worse was his family calling him a monster, because apparently only a monster can hurt an innocent maiden.

Except Sara is the opposite of innocent, although she is technically a maiden, but that doesn't matter. She's the devil's maiden, or perhaps even the devil's more evil wife. Preston always tried to stay strong through the ordeal, but I always saw through his disguise. In the inside, he was broken and had given up hope. Sara broke him far beyond the breaking point. Sara was Preston's everything and now she's gone in the worst way. If it wasn't for me, Preston would have probably done the unthinkable by now.

The YouTube comments were a disaster at first. When Preston made a video saying the two of them had broken up a month after the actual breakup, the comments were filled with haters and no supporters. Tears started to fall from my face when I read all the mean comments. They told Preston he is stupid, a jerk, insensitive, and cruel. The majority of comments said the break up happened because of Preston's wrongdoing, which is far from the truth. There were even comments telling Preston to kill himself because he doesn't deserve to live. It seemed like the entire world was against Preston. First his girlfriend, then his family and even his fans.

I scrolled up from the comments and clicked on the comment box. I knew I had to say something. Anything that wasn't like the rest of the comments. I couldn't not help Preston in his time of need. I love him too much for that. I wanted to announce to the whole world that I'd be on Preston's side no matter what happened. It took a lot of editing and attempts to achieve a well written comment, but this is what I eventually posted.

"Preston and Sara not being together should not be a reason to hate on Preston like this. To all the haters out there, you don't even know how the break up happened. Preston does not deserve all the hate he's getting right now. You don't even know if the two are on good or bad terms or why they broke up. Is it really your place to judge someone because you only know the main idea and not the details, but you're mad anyway? How would you feel if thousands of people hated you simply because you broke up with someone?

"Preston is a good person, and him now being single does not and should not change that at all. All of you should realize that and be mature. I don't care if I'm hated for standing up for one of my best friends. I want Preston to know that despite the hate, I'm going to be by his side no matter what happens even if my channel loses all of its subscribers. I'll continue to stand at Preston's side no matter what happens. In fact, I'd rather take the hate anytime than have Preston take the heat because he doesn't deserve any of it. I'm here for you, Preston."

I posted the comment, ate lunch, then came back to see the comment section once again. Now instead of it being all hate, it was split half and half with most of the new posts being positive and supportive. Some were neutral comments asking for the story, but I ignored those. My comment had over 1500 likes on it, which I found insane. I also saw I had one Skype message from Preston. I smiled, then clicked on it. My heart and attitude immediately warmed when I saw what the message said.

"Hey Rob, thanks for being there for me. Seeing those comments made me feel like I was truly alone. But after I saw what you said and the influence you had on my comment section, I instantly felt better. I just want to say thank you."

I didn't know how to respond to that. I sent a smiley face and told him I'd always be there. And I meant it. I'm not going to be like Sara. I'm going to treat Preston like royalty, no matter what the situation is. But that wasn't enough to cure Preston's depression. There was still his family and Preston clearly wasn't over Sara. The hurt was still clearly there under that disguise. My comment was only a small piece of the puzzle but enough to start the process of healing.

I clearly remember the first time Preston cried in my arms. This was a while after the video incident. We had just returned to the hotel from the first day of Pax East and were in my room talking to each other when I saw the first tear. There had been some people who had asked about Sara but Preston didn't answer those questions. I didn't comment on the tear, not wanting to upset him, but instead put my arm around his shoulder. He gave me a grateful look, and a tear slipped from his other eye.

"It's fine," I said that day. "I won't tease you if you cry. I'm here for you."

Preston then sobbed into my shirt. It was one of my favorite shirts, but I didn't care. I held him in my arms and told him I'm here for him if he needs someone. I told him that one day, his rainbow would come after the rain storm. He just continued crying and I longed for him to realize that I loved him. But at the same time, I knew he wasn't ready for love again. I have to admit, that day, some tears leaked from my eyes because it hurt seeing someone so perfect broken. Preston deserves so much better. He deserves better than a liar who wants to see a perfect man broken down emotionally.

Ever since then, Preston always came to me with his problems because he knew I wouldn't judge even if it was an irrational fear. He dumped everything on me even if it wasn't the full story and I always listened. I don't want him to feel like he's being forced to spill all of his secrets on me. I never turned him down except when in a recording with a group, but even then, I always talked to him as soon as I could. And Preston understood not being available when in the middle of a recording, so he never got mad at me.

If Preston ever got mad at me, I don't know what I'd do. He's my everything and him ignoring me for even a day would kill me. My emotions are influenced by him and him alone. When he's happy, I'm happy. When he's in danger, I'm scared for his safety. When he's depressed, I'm strong and level headed because I have to be. When he's angry, I share that same anger. Especially towards Sara.

I have heard him cry about missing how his mom used to tell him she would always love him. His dad said he would always support Preston no matter what. But they lied about that. They didn't hear his side of the story and they're not willing to listen. They instead chose to believe Sara's tale. And maybe Preston will never talk to his parents again. Maybe they'll eventually support each other again. I focus on the positive. I have to because Preston doesn't have the right emotional outlook to do that yet. The betrayal is too much for both of us, but I have to stay strong for him.

Preston didn't open up to many of his friends during the breakup. I think he thinks they'll react like his family did. I know Preston's family meant the world to him and he doesn't want to lose his friends as well. But if one of our friends doesn't understand, I'm going to make them feel the regret. They don't understand what Preston's going through. They don't understand what I'm going through.

A year after the breakup, or ten months after him first crying in my arms, was when Preston was mostly healed. His family still won't talk to him, but they aren't great friends with Sara anymore either. But now, he doesn't believe in love anymore. My heart shattered when I heard this, but I told him I understood his decision, and I do. I just wish I can be with the one person I love. But that will never happen. You can't just change your mind about being straight. Preston will never romantically love a man or anyone else in his life. His rainbow is faded, but at least his rainbow exists.

Because of Sara, the love of my life is broken. He no longer believes love is healthy. His family hates him. He still cries himself to sleep every night and I can't do anything about it because Preston will never let me cure his heart. I will never be able to cure Preston's depression. I will never make him truly happy, resulting in me never truly being happy. Because of Sara, the day I am waiting for will never come. I am waiting for my rainbow to shine, but I'm in a never ending storm. Preston may one day get his happy ending, but I'll never get mine. Because I love someone who will never feel the same way.

When I'm down, no one is there to wipe my tears. No one is there to tell me everything will be fine. There's no one for me to talk to. When Preston breaks, I glue him back together. But when I break, no one glues me back together. It won't be long before I go insane because of my depression. The need to help Preston is the only thing that keeps me going. Although my love is one-sided, it is still stronger than ever because it's the only thing I have. And I am refusing to let it go.

I put so much effort into my videos because I'd rather pump out content and edit for five hours than do nothing but cry for five hours. No matter what happens, I'm going to always be alone and I'm not going to live to see my rainbow. Because it's too late. The scars are here and they're here to stay. And the worst scars are the ones that affect my point of view of the world; nothing is worse than the scars that make everything seem black and white. Why? Because black and white don't quite make a rainbow.


End file.
